We didn’t talk it over, and we didn’t try to see each other again.
I had to remind myself of one important truth: When a man isn’t calling you, instead of worrying about what that means put the situation into perspective.
I simply sat and thought, for four (delayed train) hours, while all the details bubbled up in my brain." (So had she been the extroverted type, to go and grab a pen from a pile of strangers, we might never know what "Hogwarts" means. Christina Aguilera: "She tells me that she has always been 'intense and introverted' and that, as a result, she's felt like an outsider her entire life," wrote one reporter of the 33-year-old singer. Mia Hamm: The 42-year-old soccer player is now retired, but at one point, the Women's World Cup winner was one of the most recognizable athletes in the world.
Eek.) Laura Bush: The former first lady, 67, was quoted as saying "George and I are complete opposites," at the 2005 White House Correspondents' dinner. And yet Aguilera hasn't let that hold her back from crafting an image as a total exhibitionist, and winning not one but Marissa Mayer: Cain points out that Mayer often "talks about how she is naturally shy and introverted," and yet modern media ignores it and paints her as an extrovert instead. president and CEO is that successful, she must be extroverted, right? And as an introvert, she didn't let "her contradictory tug of war: her desire to avoid the spotlight and her role as her sport's biggest star" hold her back from being a great with the press and a fabulous teammate.
Instead, we're championing a one-note image of female strength and leadership, as if being like Beyoncé, Sheryl Sandberg, or any other quintessential extrovert is the way to be a female and to be successful.
In the process, we're pushing introverted women to ape behavior that's unnatural to them, like that's what they need to do to get ahead, and to question if something is "wrong" with them for being more of a think first, speak after type.
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To let the world know we shouldn't try to change those women's natures?
Well, after Cain addresses the women, too, I mention—we have Cain herself to look to, yes, but we need more!
Once, I dated a guy who would text me, or call me every day. I wasn’t freaked initially, but I noticed there was something essentially missing in my day. While we hadn’t been dating very long, just one day without contact I began to be alarmed. The next day came and went without a text and again I reached out to him. It was true ghosting because back then social media didn’t allow me to keep tabs on him. The fear you get when a guy you like isn’t reaching out to you.
He pulled the classic fade out and it was a miserable experience.
And since we know full well—thanks to countless studies like this one—that "the most assertive person in the group doesn't necessarily have the best ideas," as Cain says, it's to the detriment of everyone, introverts and extroverts alike, companies as well as classrooms.