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Scott Croft is an elder at Capitol Hill Baptist Church where he teaches a seminar on friendship, courtship and marriage.

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The system today's young men and women have inherited for finding and marrying a future spouse leaves a lot to be desired.

We often hear complaints from readers about the confusion, hurt and sexual sin they've encountered despite their best intentions.

It’s common for people to swing from one side of the pendulum to the other.

As a result of people going to extremes in how they do courtship I’ve begun to see more people feel uneasy about identifying with that word.

Indeed, the central issue we need to confront — and the reason I write and speak on this topic — is that when it comes to dating and relationships, perhaps more than in any other area of the everyday Christian life, the church is largely indistinguishable from the world.

That truth has brought immeasurable emotional pain and other consequences to many Christians.

Previously this is how I would have articulated the two paradigms of pursuing romance, the courtship vs dating debate: Any spiritually minded, sincere person reading this courtship vs dating comparison would totally pick the courtship paradigm over the dating one.

But the problem comes when you face the reality that the way some people actually implement courtship has been taken to extremes, and has painted "courtship" in a fanatical light.

(Read that post here) Debra Fileta, author of True Love Dates, comments about the courtship vs dating debate in an article posted in Relevant Magazine, “The world of dating can be hard to navigate for a young Christian.

Dating in wider society is often portrayed as a feel-good experience.

Not all will agree with Scott's approach, and we invite feedback from anyone who believes there are better interpretations for the biblical passages Scott draws from.

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