But when they’re in a dark space, they're unable to see things from your perspective.Trying to show your partner how wrong they are, and that they’re actually incredible, comes from your love for them and your desire to help.
Unfortunately, it’s a waste of your energy when they’re deep in depression, and actually leads to disconnection and distance.
This way of attempting to help can easily lead to arguments because your partner is unable to agree or see your efforts as helpful.
It’s painful to watch someone you care about suffer and not be able to help them.
It can be bewildering to listen to the person you admire and value most talk about themselves with extreme negativity, and in a way that doesn’t at all align with how you see them.
You can’t “fix” the depression any more than I can fix my partner’s Crohn’s disease.
When you offer care in hopes of helping to treat (or fix) your partner’s illness, you will become frustrated.To begin creating more balance in your relationship, you must acknowledge that you have needs and at least some of them must be met.Start to notice how much you’re choosing to meet your partner’s needs instead of your own.Their false but strong belief that they have accomplished nothing or that they have little to live for can leave you feeling helpless, and confused as to how to respond.These all-or-nothing, black-and-white thought patterns often illustrate depressed thinking.We put their needs first and forget about ourselves.