I think all guys would generally agree: we tend to be single-minded in what we’re doing and focus on meeting one objective at a time. 5) If I’m with another girl (note: If I’m in a relationship it’s monogamous, I never cheat, but if not dating around is fair game.) If you want to know why specifically he’s not texting you back (and what to do about it), click here to take our “Why Doesn’t He Text Back? In your situation, it sounds like this guy will try to make plans and then when it gets complicated, or it seems like it isn’t going to happen, he directs his attention elsewhere and doesn’t feel the need to text further (again it comes down to the concept of a man’s tendency to single-mindedly fixate on fulfilling an objective or reaching a goal).Anything outside of our focus at that moment is a distraction that we don’t want to “deal with”. Now you mentioned that you’ve expressed your frustration over his behavior and he hasn’t changed. ’) you might think you’re drawing a line in the sand, but he sees it as something else entirely: NEEDINESS.and as the woman gets more upset, she tends to act more desperate, more paranoid and more guarded.
So when I talk about neediness or acting needy, I’m not recommending that you change how you behave or even try to avoid these actions. A much more empowering mindset is to simply not settle for what you don’t want and seek out what you do want… Also, I want to be clear that good, clear communication of what you want and what you don’t want is part of any good and healthy relationship.
Rather, I’m recommending that you change how you think about things and, therefore, the needy behaviors and ways of acting naturally disappear. It’s believing that you “need” the other person to act a certain way, be a certain way, do specific things or say specific things… There’s nothing wrong with having preference for what you want and only settling for what you want. The problem with the needy mindset is that when you’re not getting what you want, you have a strong negative reaction because you think of his specific behavior as something you “need” in order to be OK… So bear in mind that this response to you is from the context that you’ve repeatedly brought this up as an issue and there’s been no change in his behavior.
And the interesting part is that the more we put effort into a relationship with someone, the more invested WE become.
I would encourage you to look for opportunities for the guy to make an effort toward you.
Any woman I’ve ever really cared for (and showed priority towards) didn’t settle for behavior that wasn’t what she wanted.
She didn’t put up with behavior that didn’t work for her – namely, if I left her hanging, I could be sure she’d make other plans. Nobody wants to put up with a person who’s argumentative, unpleasant or adversarial for no reason.In general, this is a very disempowering way to live life – you are essentially shackling your happiness to the actions of a guy (and at the moment, it doesn’t even seem like he’s doing a good job delivering on what you want him to do.) Something to consider is if it’s just a matter of your guy’s texting habits – take our “What’s His ‘Texting Style’ Mean?” Quiz and see what his texting habits mean about your relationship.Ok, I am confused…I thought guys were totally into the text versus actually talking on the phone.But there is one guy who I am interested in who seems to not fit that mold. He takes hours to answer a text message when we all KNOW that our phones are glued to our face.Leave us a comment and we might respond to yours too.