may not be, and you can’t debate someone into agreeing to a long-term relationship with that sort of a ticking time-bomb at it’s core.
They’d rather simply cut ties early and find someone who’s more in line with what they’re looking for than trying to sand the edges off a square peg in hopes that they can cram it into a round hole eventually.
Wanting to knock boots is great, but if you can’t stand to talk to them when that “need to get laid” urge has faded, then there’s really nothing compelling to keep people around.
Believe me: there’s nothing quite so startling as the realization of “wait, I can’t you should be attracted to.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that the answer to avoiding getting ghosted is to have a defining-the-relationship talk by the third date.
But if you’re looking to avoid having people fade away, then you need to make sure that they’re looking for the same things out of a relationship as you’re out with them.
At the same time, fetishizing someone for their interests doesn’t help either; just because you’re both geeks doesn’t mean that you’re actually compatible.
Compatibility goes beyond the surface; it’s about how well your mesh up.
There’s practicing restraint in hopes of making sure that you don’t cross a line or push too hard and then there’s being hands off that you’re coming across as a potential BFF instead of someone who they might want to tear the clothes off later.
One of the mistakes that people make on dates is that they let the chemistry just It becomes a sort of “sexual-desire-as-fate” form of magical thinking; if the chemistry is just “not there”, then clearly it’s not meant to be.
One of the reasons why people pull the fade is that they don’t feel any chemistry.
The situation becomes too ambiguous and hard to read and your date is left wondering whether you’re into her or not.
It sucks, but dating at it’s core is a number’s game.