Often, a younger guy and an older woman would “decide” upfront that their relationship will be casual, and that they should not expect any commitment from each other, because they know that the end of that relationship is inevitable because of the seemingly irreconcilable age difference.Ironically however, as their relationship is not clouded by fears and complications of commitment, long-term relationships and related issues.It’s a self-reinforcing story; we don’t accept the idea that someone who looks like Lena Dunham could score with a guy who looks like Patrick Wilson because we never see it in the media.
It’s impossible – or so the assumptions go – that perhaps she’s legitimately attracted to him, that attractiveness and desire are about more than just the accepted definitions of good looks.
We get so hung up on beauty privilege, the halo effect, the value of facial symmetry and waist-to-hip ratios and the idea that only 20% of whomever get 80% of the fucking that we tend to ignore things that don’t fit the accepted narrative.
It is not rare to see a younger guy and an older woman date and have a very intense sexual and romantic relationship, which defies the traditional “older man, younger woman” set-up that we are used to seeing. First, the fact that such a dating situation is still somewhat taboo makes is all the more enticing and exciting.
Many younger guys are driven to women who are 10 years older than they are or more, as these women are often more confident and more sexually driven and passionate than the younger women.
A woman who belongs to that category should enjoy your relationship with a young guy and all its benefits and thrills, while recognizing that it will eventually be over due to no one’s fault.
Others consider the above approach to life to be irresponsible or even reckless, and feel much more comfortable planning their life out, including their love life.
After all, many of us know someone who punches above his or her weight class, dating people who they – by all rights – should have based on the flawed idea that the only thing that people value is looks.
Whenever we see someone who isn’t conventionally attractive dating somebody who is more attractive we often dismiss the relationship as somehow invalid; clearly he has money, or a high-status job or some other external quality that the more attractive partner desires enough that she is willing to put up with having to toss the cave troll a handy every now and then.
That higher sex drive translates, among other things, into being more direct with men.
The more mature women may be interested in dating a younger guy out of sheer curiosity of what it feels like dating someone younger, and also because usually younger guys are more “agile,” active, energetic.
So while I may be a little behind the pop-culture curve, there are certain issues that I find fascinating from an outsider’s perspective.