But she does believe in one common factor; responsiveness.
This can be responding to touch, gestures, phone calls, messages of any kind.
So once a person has figured out what makes them tick then there are some dating tips from the professionals.
You need to be able to see this on yourself if you want to improve yourself,” says Kofterou.
An anonymous source who ran one of the first off-line professional matchmaking services in Cyprus (hosting 200 clients on her books) adds “people are afraid of opening up to each other and being vulnerable because of the gossip level”. These judgements and out dated expectations within society start with grandparents, then parents and now people do it to each other within their own generation in order to fit in explains Kofterou. If they are not ticking off the boxes, they get depressed and will judge you. Of course we’re not going to approach each other and date, we’re far too busy being threatened and distancing ourselves from each other.” Unfortunately, these narratives in people’s heads, clash with the times. In the past, relationships were organised and the ‘narrative’ was accepted.
“There are no top ten tips on how to have the perfect relationship or date, each situation is different, each person is different, it may sound like a cliché, but it’s true.
One behaviour in one couple might be dysfunctional for them and for another; normal,” says Kofterou.Kofterou believes that people would benefit greatly both personally and in relationships if they addressed the ‘narrative’.They can do this by identifying their own values, principles, passions, needs and what gives them happiness, either with the help of a therapist or from books or the internet.“The women have it in their heads that they shouldn’t be doing certain things to maintain this taught narrative and keep their ‘dignity’ and men are frustrated as a result.Times have changed but people are afraid to stray from the norms, they want to be accepted by their community.” Kofterou acknowledges that sex is still a big taboo here.Cypriots who lived abroad or foreigners are more at ease with this part.