For example, if the conversation has been going well but you notice your date happens to glance over your shoulder and seems momentarily distracted, this is not the end of the world.If, on the other hand, he rarely makes eye contact with you the whole evening, file that under “suspicious, but needs further investigation.” What a person does with their arms and legs while sitting or standing can also give you an idea about how your date is feeling.This is a compliment because it means that he is feeling comfortable and connected. I always keep an eye out for it with my clients in my work as a therapist.
How often have you met a cute guy or gone out on a first date and wondered, “Is he interested or not?
” You replay the whole interaction in your mind, analyzing it over and over again and looking for clues.
And cuing into these nonverbals can be a helpful way to decode what your date is really thinking. John Gottman’s famous “Love Lab,” the researcher was able to identify in just a few minutes whether or not a couple was headed for relationship trouble solely based on the way they interacted with one another, including body language.
Personally, I have found nonverbal cues to be be helpful in my work as a therapist and in my dating life.
According to research studies, crossed arms and legs can send the message that a person is closing themselves off from a conversation, while relaxed feet and legs and smooth hand gestures are all examples of positive body language.
Of course, some people find it more comfortable to sit with their arms crossed, especially if they are nervous, so use your observational skills to determine if this is your date’s preferred stance, he is just a little nervous, or, if it’s a sign that he might be disengaged with the conversation.Remember that he could be just as nervous as you are and might appreciate a clear sign or two (preferably a verbal one) that you are having a good time.As you can see, there are actually a lot ways you can clue into what your date is probably thinking.Mirroring occurs when a person copies the physical position of the person they are talking to.It is generally seen as sign that he is feeling connected to you and what you are saying.Say you are sitting with your elbows on the table and your chin resting on your hands.