"I remember that I got us lost on my first date with Erin; this was when I was living in New York City. Later, she told me that she thought it was kind of endearing." Koretsky admits that having ADHD continues to impact her relationship with Korey on a daily basis, including her tendency to get caught up in what she refers to as "the cycle of overwhelm." This cycle "is what many adults with ADD get caught up in before they learn how to manage their ADD," Koretsky explains.
Put down anything you might use to distract yourself when taking face-to-face.
"When talking with your significant other, put down your phone.
And your mind works on overdrive either trying to make it all happen or thinking about making it happen — but the faster you run, the more stressed and overwhelmed you get, and when you're stressed, it's virtually impossible to stay organized, manage your time, or pay attention. The cycle repeats itself until you learn how to slow down, manage the stress, and approach these challenges from a calm and centered place.
In that calm state of mind, you can actually create systems and address the problems." Koretsky explains how this "cycle of overwhelm" plays out within the context of a relationship: "When the ADD partner is frantic and overwhelmed, [he or she is] very difficult to be around.
"There are a lot of positive aspects to people with ADHD," says Dr.
Robert Hunt of the Center for Attention and Hyperactivity Disorders, a psychiatric treatment center with a primary focus on ADHD.
[The partner] may be snippy, forgetful, angry, and no fun in general.
Then, the burnout period leaves that person unable to do much, which can frustrate the non-ADD partner." How does this post-burnout period look to someone on the outside?
Welcome to the world of someone who's dating while living with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD/ADD).
Relationships that start out with tons of excitement often end because the person diagnosed with ADHD suddenly becomes distracted by the newest shiny thing that comes along — or because the other partner feels ignored or disappointed by the ADHD partner's forgetfulness and overall inattentiveness.
As much as you want to do two things at once, you owe it to your partner to give him/her your full attention.