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One of them is a massive, multi-million-dollar enterprise filled with violence and betrayal, and the other airs on HBO.

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Whether a straightforward imitation of Avril Lavigne’s style or an early attempt at “Blank Space”–style self-satirization, the barbs never go beyond bratty.

(As in “Look What You Made Me Do,” the revenge turns out to be the song itself, which feels hollow.) Best known now for the line about “the things she does on the mattress,” which I suspect has been cited in blog posts more times than the song itself has been listened to lately. “American Girl,” Non-album digital single (2009): Why would you cover this song and make it (2007): Before Ariana Grande’s “Santa Tell Me,” there was only one holiday song about falling in love with Santa, and for some reason, we spent decades making all our young female singers cover it.

But the villain costume sits uneasily on Swift’s shoulders, and even worse, the songwriting just isn’t there. “Christmas Must Mean Something More,” (2007): One of two originals on Swift’s early-career Christmas album, “Something More” is a plea to put the Christ back in Christmas.

The verses are vacuous, the insults have no teeth, and just when the whole thing seems to be leading up to a gigantic redemptive chorus, suddenly The air goes out of it and we’re left with a taunting Right Said Fred reference — the musical equivalent of pulling a Looney Tunes gag on the listener. “Umbrella,” (2008): Swift has recorded plenty of covers in her career, and none are less essential than this 90-second rendition of the Rihanna hit recorded at the peak of the song’s popularity. Or as she puts it: “What if happiness came in a cardboard box?

I count at least ten stone-cold classics in her discography. No matter how high your defenses, I guarantee you’ll find at least one that breaks them down.

Some ground rules: We’re ranking every Taylor Swift song that’s ever been released with her name on it — which means we must sadly leave out the unreleased 9/11 song “Didn’t They” as well as Nils Sjöberg’s “This Is What You Came For” — a few duets where she gets an “and” credit.What sort of real life can stand up against fantasies like these?So, uh, I don’t recommend you listen to this list top to bottom.(2007): Swift’s cover of the Christmas classic veers significantly away from Franz Xaver Gruber’s original melody, and even gives it a Big Taylor Swift Finale.Points for ambition, but sometimes you just want to hear the old standards the way you remember them. “The Last Time,” is Swift’s strongest album, but it suffers a bit from pacing issues: The back half is full of interminable ballads that you’ve got to slog through to get to the end.She’s been feminism’s worst nightmare, and an advocate for victims of sexual assault. (For , she embraced feminism and threw away the last vestiges of her Nashville sound, but those were basically just aesthetic changes.) If the word on her has shifted since her debut, it’s because we’ve changed, not her.

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